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The proof that we have been wounded

When we receive verbal (or even physical) aggression, our reactions talk about how deeply affected us.

A bad / violent aggression is proof:

That what has been told and / or done had effect on us
That we have reached our limit of resistance

This way:

Other people will know that what has been said could be true
Other people will know that what has been done was enough to break our spirit

The point is that the more we react (with, vengeance, etc.), the more we demonstrate our weakness. It is in those moments that we demonstrate if ours is the skin of:

A mosquitoes
Or a rhinoceros

Note – This article has been asked by one of our Core Course practitioners on Patreon (see how to attend our home study classes here Learn Kung Fu online: a beginner-to-expert course).

What is weakness?

Weakness is the loss of the rational control. Let’s see a few examples:

Losing calmness and screaming like a crazy (read also Become the absolute zero)
In a self-defense context, uselessly attacking people who do not threaten our safety (or the others’ one, read The 6DKF’s diagram about the use of violence)
Not understanding when it’s time to stop a discussion (read also Self defense: 10 correct attitudes during a quarrel)
Reacting inconsiderately and / or disproportionately (read Best martial arts for self-defense)
Perpetrating complex and stupid acts of revenge
Doing things that involve the risk of being severely punished (by the law, etc.)
Doing things that involve the risk of suffering bad injuries for nothing (read also What is the difference between real fights and combative sports?)
…

All this does nothing but increase the glory of those who attacked us, by offering them a wide recognition. In other words, to the abuse that we have suffered (or that we think we have suffered), we add the humiliation of showing the consequences of our “pain”.

How to be “invincible”

Reasoning in extreme terms, it’s easy to understand that the only truly invincible being is not:

Who defend itself and win
Who reacts to every little spite

Impassibility. A man (or a woman) with a strong mindset does not need to act because any attack, against him / her, falls into nothingness (read The 3 alerts of a Shaolin monk):

As a child’s attack against a giant
As a punch against a mountain
Like a bucket trying to empty the sea
…

A note by Master Kongling – Prevailing does not mean knocking down an opponent, it means obtaining the best benefit, beyond the normal habits of the context we are involved (read for example /// Subscribe (it's free!) or Login to see this content ///).

In this sense, those who are more likely to prevail are those who play beyond preconceived rules and never those who submit to them. We must learn to abstract ourselves from the common mental patterns and to reason as if we saw from outside the scenarios that we find ourselves living.

A different point of view

The resentment is not in the people who make us the wrongs:

The grudge is only in our minds
If we want to live in peace we must leave it
Revenge does not rebalance anything
Revenge only enhances the relevance of a gesture

We have to consider resentment and revenge as diseases that infect our happiness: forgetting is the way that leads us to the immediate healing.

This is the mental approach that we must strive to gain:

It does not mean that we do not have to react in case of real need (read Personal defense: the S.A.F.E. method)
It means to avoid any kind of useless violence (verbal, or worst, physical)
This way we can become mentally strong (read Warrior’s self-control)
This way we are changing our life and the world (starting from ourselves)

In-depth articles

People who find the differences – What does it mean to trust the prejudices
Fighting and mind control: the anchors – A way to start to control our mind reactions

Questions

Reply in the comments and share your experience:

Have you ever been so strong to avoid to react to other one’s aggression (physical or verbal)?

Author: Master Kongling

Founder of 6 Dragons Kung Fu.

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