Why and when self-defense does not work
Self-defense: when it works and when not
What is self-defense?
- It is something very difficult to teach and to learn, it is the art of self-preservation (read Personal defense: the S.A.F.E. method)
- It is not the way to learn to beat someone, it teaches us how to preserve ourselves (nothing more, nothing less)
- …
A note by Master Kongling – Some instructors distinguish “self-defense” from “self-preservation”: it is a wrong and counterproductive distinction that confuses those who approach this field. In a course, nothing could be more dangerous than separating the psychological from the combat aspects.
What should a serious self-defense course be based on?
A self-defense course that works, it is made:
- 50% mental
- 50% physical
With this in mind, the ingredients of a perfect preparation are (read):
- Daily training (read Why martial arts do not work: 5 reasons)
- Mental preparation (read Self-defense: why 90% of martial arts does not work)
- Law preparation (read Best martial arts for self-defense)
The 2 most common mistakes of self-defense courses
Mistake 1: focus only on combat
If we train only to beat our opponents, we will never be prepared for self-defense:
- We don’t know how to control ourselves (read Self-defense and mental preparation: what they do not tell you)
- We don’t know how to avoid the most common problems (read for example Self defense: 10 correct attitudes during a quarrel)
Let’s repeat it, in a real scenario:
- We have to know about the law – What we can do and what we cannot do (read also Personal defense: parry the first attack)
- We have to know about mental stress management – Because the moment where we get attacked by surprise, our physical and combat capabilities will disappear, if we are not trained to sustain stressful situations (read )
Mistake 2: neglect the combat preparation
On the other side, we will fail even if:
- We concentrate only on mental aspects
- We do not practice daily
- We do not train our body to react
A self-defense course that focuses only on preconfigured and collaborative simulations, will not help us to be safe in any way (read A scheme to quickly learn any kind of technique):
- If we never do sparring, how could you think to be ready to fight?
- If we have never taken a punch, if you have never get beaten, it is impossible
A note by Master Kongling – I’ve said it many times: it is like thinking to play a Tennis match without ever had a confrontation with another player; it is so simple in sports but so hard to understand, for some reason, in martial arts terms.
The predator has always an advantage
In self-defense:
- There are no rules and who attacks knows that he is probably better than us
- No predator attacks someone who is stronger than him nor one at the same level
- Unfortunately, the mindset of the predator is always to attack the weaker
Avoiding physical violence is easy (but only in words)
In self-defense situations, we are always at a big disadvantage and it is for this reason that the best solution is always to avoid to fight.
There are a lot of situations that can be solved, for example, simply by going away but to do this, we have to be able to:
- Control our mind
- Control our emotions
If we are not trained, we will never learn to do this in a stressful situation. We have to be mentally focused on:
- Negotiation
- Escape
- …
These appear to be simple solutions but they are hard to achieve when we are involved first-person.
A note by Master Kongling – What is more worrying, is that these topics rarely appear in self-defense courses: normally they are only mentioned but it is not sufficient at all, I’ve already been there (read for example Self-defense: aggression in front of a supermarket).
The origin of problems and dangers
What we have to understand is that:
- 50% of the problems arrive from us (in terms of aggressivity, lack of prevention, etc.)
- 50% derives from the potential aggressors
We are part of the problem and that part is related to our mindset:
- There are things that must be learned
- There are things that must be trained
- …
Can we manage everything?
What is outside our mind is totally out of our control: we have to accept it. It is not like a controlled fight:
- Where there are rules
- Where there are times
- Where there are specific spaces
- Where everything is chosen before the fight begins
- …
In a self-defense situation, nothing will go as we expect, we cannot choose:
- The moment
- The situation
- Our physical and mental conditions
- …
Everything can happen: we have to accept the fact that no one can control everything.
Is it worth studying self-defense?
Yes, to follow a self-defense course is something very useful.
Probably only 1 to 10 times in our existence but it can make the difference between life and death, so: it is worth but this does not assure us that we will be always safe (nothing can).
What is the more effective part of self-defense?
Prevention is the best and more effective part of self-defense. All the rest can be a question mark but the prevention part is the one that more probably will save our life (let’s concentrate on it, it is relatively easy and effective).
On the other side, to learn to manage a real combat (against a prepared opponent), in a street situation, is a high-level goal that we cannot achieve until we have trained for years and years (with a daily cadence).
In-depth video courses
- Basic 6 Dragons Kung Fu Exercises – How to structure a strong body functional to the fight
- Basic free hand fighting techniques – A visual explanation of our core combat techniques
In-depth articles
- Control of emotions: the exercise of the switch – A first approach to mind self-conditioning
- Become the absolute zero – The highest (and more dangerous) level of detachment in combat
Questions
Reply in the comments and share your experience:
- What is your point of view about self-defense?
Author: Master Kongling
Founder of 6 Dragons Kung Fu.How to master 6 Dragons Kung Fu?
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donramirez
January 14, 2021 @ 8:22 pm
Thanks, Master!
Master Kongling
February 4, 2021 @ 1:05 pm
😉
shaolin
June 18, 2022 @ 6:22 pm
What you said is absolutely true. People do not understand the difference between playing and being prepared for real.
Bell Singer
April 15, 2023 @ 6:33 am
It is all absolutely true, I followed a selfdefense course that I left after the first lesson, it was so far from what it should be!
RichardLee
February 21, 2024 @ 5:22 pm
Most of the self-defense instructors do not understand this.
Master Kongling
February 21, 2024 @ 7:48 pm
I do not like to talk about the others but in most cases, this is true and the reason why it is worth stressing is because it has an extremely severe impact on how people address real self-defense scenarios.